贝多芬

他获得寂寞。
因为他坚持自我。

《不朽真情》。
也是天才音乐家贝多芬传记。
开幕就是葬礼。盛大。沉重。灰色。
而他死了。留下的遗书却揭示了一段神秘的关系。故事由此展开。
比想象中精彩很多。
镜头里。
他低头测试钢琴的俯身动作。叫人恻隐。
音乐优美动人到极限。
然而他是聋的。
宿命的悲哀挥之不去。

唯一爱过的。是她。只有她。
一直爱所以恨因而怨。
头发已全白。
情节拉到最高潮。
当年她等他。
他却被雨夜耽搁。
他匆匆赶来。她已离去。
无情岔开的爱情。被时间左右。被命运玩弄。
那首为她而谱的曲。是灼热的焦苦之声。

最后的最后。
那封以遗书形式所留下来的情书才被缓缓读出。

I can live only completely with you or not at all。
Yes，it must be。
You're my life。my everything。
Go on loving me。
Ever yours。ever mine。forever。

太过深情。

所以成就了最最悲惨的戏剧。

http://dotnil.yo2.cn/

前些日子在看《Immortal Beloved》，是部艺术化的传记/传记化的关于贝多芬的电影，从他的朋友兼秘书根据在他秘密抽屉里的几封信按图索骥出发，半回忆地讲述贝多芬的（爱情）故事。这几封信在电影中的发现处是他的办公桌，而 Anne Baker 写的贝多芬传中说的则是他的橱柜中的秘密抽屉。不过这只是电影于史实诸多差别中的一个，我有点不想一一详述，我要说的是那些信，人们在称呼它们时将它们叫做“Immortal Beloved”，按照德语愿意翻译的话应该是“Eternal Beloved”才是，不过我并非语言学家亦非打破沙锅者，不做深究。

这几封信的非同寻常在它们的发现地就可循端倪。在贝多芬不怎么走运的爱情生涯里头，尽管也曾经对几位姑娘吃果果表露爱意甚至要了洗礼证明以便结婚之需，但女方极少或者说没有对他的爱有过感觉，她们更多是感到被追捧感到荣耀，按照现在通俗的话说，她们觉得贝多芬是个很厉害的好哥哥/很乖张的怪书塾。那首献给爱里斯，即是这段时间的即兴创作，收录在编外作品中。所以很少能在 Antonie Brentano 出现之前的信件中看到那份炽热的爱恋，在电影中贝多芬的钦慕对象改成了他的弟弟的妻子，比传记中勾引已婚妇女（Antonie 在维也纳首次遇到贝多芬是因她的父亲病重与她的丈夫 Franz Brentano 回来照顾家父，他们在她十八岁的时候就在她父亲的撮合下结婚了，Franz 是法兰克福的富商）还要劲暴还要不伦，而电影里头的弟弟则是现实中贝多芬诸位弟弟的合体，肺结核的 Carl 和被贝多芬认为自降身份的另外一个弟弟，等等，或许是我看得不够仔细。不管情节如何，这都是导演的安排，而 Gary Oldman，即是这个 Leon 中演怪书塾警察那位，演绎的更怪书塾贝多芬，深情地在信中吃果果地表露自己的爱意：“Can our love endure without sacrifices, without our demanding everything from one another; can you alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, that I an not wholly yours? ... However much you love me -- my love for you is even greater.”

在贝多芬的日记中，罕有直书不朽的爱人，贝多芬在提到她时往往称她为 T. （因为 Antonie 的昵称是 Toni），如果你真的很闲很有偷窥欲想去看贝多芬的日记，你会看到这样的句子：“With regard to T. there is nothing else but leave it to God, never go there where one could do wrong out of weakness.”和“be as good as possible towards T.; her devotion deserves never to be forgotten.” 看着这几句觉得味道不对？那是因为贝多芬在他一生中少数的几次爱的人终于爱回他的情况下决定放弃与她在一起，因为她已婚，也因为她的丈夫也是他的好朋友。囧，好错综的情感。有野史或者说猜测说，Antonie 的第六个孩子是与贝多芬生下的，这也解释了为何贝多芬决定放弃与她在一起时是如此的痛苦。

贝多芬在言及放弃的时候的理由是害怕婚姻可能会影响到他的创作源泉。
当前日志信息

身处异地的你会真正体会到思念的感觉，是可以让你陷入沉思的，是可以让你夜不能寐的……

贝多芬的音乐更会令你对亲人的思念陷入极致，相传他创作的一曲交响曲就是在描述自己急切要去见自己的恋人时，不争气的马车却陷入了森林里的泥潭，不断挣扎前行的心理状态……最后，当他来到与恋人约定的旅店的房间时，恋人却因为他的不准时出现而离去了，此时的贝多芬发疯般的发泄这自己的情绪……这也是思念让他如此的疯狂吧！

音乐往往能承载很多人的情感和思想，贝多芬的音乐才华是上帝的恩赐吧，他晚年创作的第九交响曲——欢乐颂，把我带进了思念的愉悦中，思念是两个人在一起时很难做到的，只有一个人静静在远方的时候才会自然发生，而且是那么的清晰，那么的撩人……

恨不能马上来到对方的目前，聆听到对方的呼吸，触摸到对方的细滑，让你的思念渐渐从对方的身上滚落，直到完全忘记了思念。

这种滋味只有陷入思念的人才可以尝到，才可以矛盾到不知是思念还是不思念的好。还好，上帝创造了星星和月亮，悬挂在夜晚的天空，可以让我的思念有所寄托，有所直白，它们似乎会说话，会倾心听我的诉说，把我远方的爱人和我紧密联系在一起，不在遥远，似乎可以看见……

致爱丽丝的美妙旋律又一次萦绕耳边，感谢这份奇妙的思念，感谢上帝所创造的美妙音乐，感谢上帝赐予我的完美爱人，使我的心逐渐归于安息，如此宁静的安息……

我要对远方的爱人说，我们是如此的有福气，我们永远在一起，在上帝永恒的计划里……

一份阴差阳错的遗憾，引起重重矛盾、不理解、憎恨，让一个人在痛苦中煎熬一生，却也同时成就了一代大师，并且，经历了这种种的爱，才练就了不朽，而这爱中的人，也随之成为永恒。

1 音乐安排得非常出色（虽然开头的死亡镜头用贝五有点窠臼）
2 Oldman太出彩了，远超出预期值
3 欢乐颂的处理真是妙不可言，一瞬间忽然想到了2001 Space Odessey最后的星孩，于是想起老库也喜欢贝多芬，然后又忽然想到了苏鲁支和尼采。。。两百年过去，谁又能说清贝九究竟讲了一个什么样的事情？只有星空和童年的回答能真的令人信服

至于那几段狗血。。。就当欣赏一下华美的服装和场景吧

2008-04-18 23:45:37

今晚看了1994年的电影Immortal Beloved. 电影的故事由贝多芬去世后留下的收信人是“不朽的情人”的情书展开。

看完电影后的唯一的感受是: 岁月流逝, 唯有艺术和爱情永存!

多年前看过罗曼罗兰的《贝多芬传》, 依稀还记得书的结尾: 一个不幸的人，贫穷，残疾，孤独，由痛苦造成的人，世界不给他欢乐，他却创造了欢乐来给予世界！他用他的苦难来铸成欢乐，好似他用那句豪语来说明的，——那是可以总结他一生，可以成为一切英勇心灵的箴言的： “用痛苦换来的欢乐”

The Origin of the Letters
July 6, in the morning
My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and you with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one: I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the postcoach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of the forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be-
Your faithful Ludwig

Evening, Monday, July 6
You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays - Thursdays - the only day on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, you are with me - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!!! thus!!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of Heaven? -

Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, not and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can only live wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the lands of spirits - Yes unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V[ienna] is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - at my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in out connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes everyday - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the l[etter] at once. - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve out purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. -Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of you beloved.

ever thine
ever mine L.
ever ours